The long and winding road

Pablove Across America a/k/a Pablove Across California ended last Saturday. We rode into town--40 plus riders strong--in the afternoon and dismounted our bicycles at Children's Hospital Los Angeles, where we were welcomed by an energized group of loved ones, supporters, hospital administrators and staff. This was the final achievement of our week-long adventure: To parade (and when you're head to toe in lycra, that's what it looks like) into Children's Hospital and present the doctors, researchers, therapists and social workers there with the fruits of our fund-raising efforts. And so, in a small ceremony on the playground patio, the Pablove Foundation presented two multi-year grants--one for research and one for child life programs--to the hospital in a strong showing of its commitment to making a direct impact and difference to children diagnosed with cancer. For me, this was the epitome of instant gratification. If you are reading this post, chances are that you contributed to this accomplishment; I cannot thank you enough for your support. To see your gifts translated into action so promptly was tremendously rewarding. Even more rewarding? The research grant happens to be going to a doctor studying Neuroblastoma, Andrew's cancer.

Going through the data on my cycling computer, all the relevant facts of the week are there:

8 days of riding
600 miles covered
33,000 feet of elevation gain
34 hours of ride time
11,000 plus calories burned

But these are only numbers and statistics. Yes, it was an exemplary event--thoughtfully planned, well organized, physically challenging and financially successful--taking in the most striking and scenic areas of central California's coast and interior. (Frankly, as riders, we were pampered by the crew that accompanied us and took care of our every need.) However, it was so much more than that, as the participants and purpose made the true experience. Consider this: The youngest rider was a graduate student, who was simply inspired by Jeff's story. Such was her inspiration that she decided--at the beginning of summer--that she would sign up for this event. She started riding a bike only then, 3 months ago! She struggled tremendously, in particular on the first day, sobbing on the bike and on the brink of abandoning. But she never allowed herself to quit and her determination saw her through. Moreover, the group rallied around her, providing her support and encouragement to carry on. She persevered each day and, in turn, became an inspiration in her own right. In fact, there were a handful of riders who had taken up cycling only recently (though, she was the youngest and most inexperienced), that I have to give credit to for committing and pushing themselves to finish.

On the other end of the spectrum were the veterans: This was the 5th Anniversary of Pablove Across America and there were riders who had joined Jeff on various roads for the last three, four, five years. Most of these were fellow "cancer dads," but I was struck by the number of participants who had no direct connection to cancer, but who chose to come out in support of the organization and the cause. In fact, by my count, cancer dads were the minority of the group, which I found surprising, yet heartening. In particular, a conversation with a gentleman from New Orleans sticks with me: I was asking him about his history and affiliation with the group and he explained that this was his third time participating in the ride and raising money for the foundation. I asked him--always delicately, because you never know what the answer might be in such company--how he got involved and he answered that he has two young children at home who are perfectly healthy, no history of cancer whatsoever; it is precisely that fact that reminds him daily how fortunate he is. And so, he raises funds and awareness as his contribution to acknowledge how grateful he is.

I highlight these two stories, but they are representative of the whole. The truth is, there were 34 other participants with equally moving and motivational stories surrounding their decisions to embark on this particular event. Riders consisted of young and old; those affected by cancer and those not; personal friends and supporters of Jeff and Jo Ann and total strangers; parents and those single and without children; etc. Yet, despite these contrasting circumstances, there was one common connection: The desire to promote a good cause in order to make a difference. It seems everyone there signed up to be a part of something...Greater. Certainly, I feel like I shared in something noble and grand and emotionally enriching. Mainly--after allowing myself to become fairly cynical in recent years--I feel like I reconnected with the notion of people's basic goodness. It is an incredibly powerful and uplifting feeling to recognize the good in others; it lightens the world. For this gift, I am grateful to Pablove, the event, my fellow participants and our supporters.

Those of you who know me well, know that I shun the Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. This blog and texting are about as far as I have gotten with technology. I am a Luddite at heart. Hence my need to hijack Cynthia's Facebook page (read ask Cynthia to cross-post this for me) to share this post with our friends. In any case, if you are not like me and enjoy a good Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, you can find photos from our ride on those sites.

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151919794435891.1073741837.115929850890&type=3

http://instagram.com/pablovefoundation#

Last, but not least, I would like to include here a short video that Jeff made in the lead up to the ride to promote Pablove and the event. I think it is extremely effective in summarizing what he, this ride and Pablove are about. Please watch, it is only about a minute long:



Though the ride may have ended and the event was a spectacular success, I and Pablove continue to raise funds through the end of this month (in particular) and through the end of this year (in general). If, by chance, you have not yet given and have intended to, please do so now:

http://www.stayclassy.org/fundraise?fcid=244077

With gratitude and pablove,

Paul

Summer Breeze

We were at my nephew's family birthday party the other night at my brother's house and some Seals & Crofts made its way through the mix. It resonated with me for this post: What better way to convey the sense of our summer than the light, airy, near-mindless harmonies of the soft rock duo? Makes me feel fine....

Before I recap our season, though, I have another priority to address first:

It is the start of September, which puts me a month out from my charity cycling challenge with the Pablove organization. The response to my pleas for support has been extraordinary. I have run out of superlatives to describe it and ways to express my gratitude. Nonetheless: Thank you. Again. Originally, my goal was to raise $10,000 for Pablove and--since this is all new to me--I had no idea if I would achieve that or not. As it turns out, donations exceeded $10,000 some time ago! As a result, I was inspired recently to raise my target to $15,000 and I am approaching that level steadily. Given that September is also Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, how fitting would it be to make a final push in the next few weeks and surpass that revised goal? If you have been thinking about giving, but have not gotten around to it yet, I encourage you to do so now at the following link:

http://www.stayclassy.org/fundraise?fcid=244077

Any amount gets me closer to my new objective and is deeply appreciated.

Summer. It is probably not accurate to state that our summer was perfect. It was not. But--and I may be guilty of romanticizing this a bit--it was largely ideal. I don't really know why or how--it was quite by accident--but we seemed to strike that delicate balance of slowing down and enjoying the days, while also remaining productive and accomplishing a good amount of work. We did not fritter away our time, nor did we fail to embrace it. The result was understated, but with just the right amount of activity. In short, we will probably never get it that right again.

We started in mid-June with a trip to New England for my 25th High School Reunion. The purpose of this event was twofold: 1. To prove that I am old, and 2. To prove that I am easily entertained (Noggle?!). We followed this with our family vacation, which was spent in the saggy triceps area of the Cape. It was beautiful and relaxing and--dare I say--almost boring. Thankfully, we were resourceful and kept ourselves occupied with time at the beach, various day trips and outings, and a generous quantity of lobster rolls, some of which required serious strong-arming to get down.

And then, it got "uncomfortable": Our family vacation concluded with us dropping off Lucia at sleep-away camp. For the first time. Ever. For a month. On the other side of the country. Needless to say, this was a difficult time for me and I drove away from that experience a blubbering mess.... But, I was proud of her for wanting to go and excited for her to experience...whatever it is that goes on at summer camp. (As it turns out, it's mainly a lot of strange and silly songs.) And so, my emotional distress was short-lived. I was sad to leave her, but once we were home and she was settled in and having a good time, I was able to embrace the "sweet spot" that was the rest of our summer. For me, this meant work and cycling and projects around the house. For Cynthia, this meant work and yoga and projects around the house. Good times...(seriously).

Andrew attended local day camps and seemed to enjoy himself. Perhaps more importantly, he re-discovered his cousins, who live up the street, and started spending time with them riding his bike, swimming and playing games. In particular, his excitement over his bike really struck me. I was about ten when I discovered BMX bikes, thirteen when I discovered 10-speeds. For me, those moments changed my life and I fell in love with the bicycle, not only because it was a fun and exciting toy, but because it was a mechanism for freedom and independence. On a bicycle, I could travel great distances, see many things and experience places outside of my immediate area. Andrew got a taste of that this summer. I don't know if it affected him the way it clearly affected me, but I certainly (secretly) hope it did.

I recognize that this probably would not have happened had Lucia not gone to sleep-away camp. The truth is that the watchwords of our summer were growth and independence--all around. Lucia gained some maturity through her camp experience, in terms of being on her own; meanwhile, those of us at home experienced our own growth in realizing that we could carry on despite her absence. This was especially true of Andrew, who tended to rely on his sister, not only for certain assistance, but for basic, daily companionship. We were all pushed out of our comfort zones a bit for a month this summer and all benefited in the end. Moreover, in the case of Lucia, not only do I feel that she grew by going to camp, but I think that she also came to appreciate the old adage, There's no place like home--warts (read little brothers) and all.

We then entered the smorgasbord section of our summer, with a disjointed assortment of camps, sleepovers, short trips, etc. filling the kids' time. They attended art camp, cooking class, soccer workshops, spent time at their grandparent's and visited their (other) cousins in Philadelphia, as they filled out the month of August and wound down the summer season. Cooking class was perhaps the greatest coup, in that the kids brought home vast quantities of food to feed us for a week. Granted, it did put tremendous strain on our Tupperware supply. And then...

...school started. Just this week. And so, that routine begins.... And I swear--two and a half days in--the bliss of our near-perfect Summer Breeze summer has been vaporized by the trauma and turmoil of fall.... Still, we enjoyed it while it lasted.

I hope your summer was as satisfying as ours; may your fall not rob you of those memories too soon. Take care.

Paul

Resolutions

Pro...cras...ti...na...tion.

Just going off the title, you can know that this post is about four and a half months late. Yes, this is indicative of just how terribly lame I can be. But, life is busy and complicated and...ahh, who am I kidding? Sorry, I had every intention of writing this in January, but I let it get away. Mea culpa.

So, it's like this: Our year started off with Andrew aiming to establish his New Year's Resolution. He started strong, with no warning or prompting, just quietly going about his business; he made his bed one morning in early January. And then, he did it again the next day. BAM! Resolution established. Of course, not to be left out or out-done, Lucia decided that making her bed would be a good resolution, too. She joined in the next day. And so the competition began. We were prepared to sit back and watch them escalate into a full-scale cleaning war, with fights over Scrubbing Bubbles rights and shortages of Swiffer refills and Toilet Duck bottles. Dreams of firing the maid surfaced...briefly. And then, just as quickly as it had started, it was over. A week and a half was all they had in them. Andrew petered out and Lucia was off the hook. That was the end of their commitment. We will strive for more from them next year.

However, as it turns out, their momentary motivations did, in fact, serve a purpose: They prompted me to consider what I might do for my resolution. In truth, this is not something that I normally do--resolutions, that is--so I am breaking new personal ground here. While I'm at it, I might as well admit that I don't give up anything for Lent, either; I'm a marginal Catholic at best and usually remember Lent only once it has ended (i.e. I'm enjoying a nice Easter brunch). I suppose I should also go ahead and add a disclaimer that just because I'm committing to something this year, I reserve the right to go resolution-less next year. This is my, "Past-performance-is-no-guarantee-of-future-success" clause....

In any case, after years of haranguing people to invest some time and energy and contribute to the pediatric cancer cause, I have decided to heed that advice and do just that. I have written several times of Jeff and Jo Ann Castelaz and their organization, Pablove, which they founded in honor of their son, Pablo, whom they lost to Wilms' Tumor in 2009. They are kind people, with a noble cause, doing important work that is acutely personal to them. I believe in what they are doing and I would like to do my part for them.

For the past four years, Jeff has organized a cross-country cycling trip to raise awareness and funding for pediatric cancer. I have entertained the thought of participating in the past, but never put myself out there, due to any number of conflicts and excuses--real or perceived. But, when the ride and the route were announced for this year, I knew I needed to stop considering and simply commit to it. This year--at last--I have decided to act. I am registered as a participant in Pablove Across America 2013.

With that said, the name is a bit off this year: While the ride traditionally has been some variation of "Across America," this year, they have designed a California-centric course. Nonetheless, it is 500 miles of riding over 7 days, from San Francisco to Los Angeles. More importantly, I have set a personal goal to fund-raise $10,000 for the Pablo organization as part of my ride commitment. Again, much like the notion of resolutions, this is also new to me; I have not tried to raise money for an organization before (assuming you don't count my ample contribution to Lucia's Girl Scout cookie sales in the way of my deeeeep stock of Thin Mints).

A staple question for ride participants is, Who do you ride for? I gave a lot of thought to this, as I debated whether to take part this year, and it was my answer that convinced me to sign up. I have two reasons: I ride for both of my cancer-surviving children--the one who was hospitalized and treated and bears the physical scars and deals with the long list of late effects, and the one who struggled with the emotional turmoil of feeling isolated, abandoned and jealous and continues to wrestle with those feelings even now. They are both here, touched in their own distinctive way by the disease.

And so, I write this post and I make this plea for support. If you are inspired and inclined and able, please consider a donation to this cause. It goes without saying, it is near and dear to me and I would like to do my very best for them.

My sincere gratitude,
Paul

http://www.stayclassy.org/fundraise?fcid=244077

http://www.pablove.org/pablove-across-america/donate-to-a-rider/